The GPS
What a license plate, a psychotic break, and my relationship with God taught me about spiritual tools.
I pulled into the co-working office this morning and parked directly next to a car with a license plate that had the letters GPS right in the center.
I laughed.
Not because I thought God was sending me secret instructions through a license plate.
(Though, to be fair, there was a period of my life when I absolutely might have thought that. We can save that story for another post.)
And not because I believe every sign needs to be decoded.
I laughed because I had just finished writing an Instagram carousel about intuition, faith, oracle cards, spiritual tools, and discernment.
And suddenly, I had the perfect analogy.
A few years ago, I probably would have interpreted that license plate very differently.
There was a season of my life when I was constantly searching for signs.
Angel numbers.
Synchronicities.
Messages.
Patterns.
Meaning.
Sometimes those experiences felt beautiful.
Sometimes they felt profound.
And eventually, they became part of a spiritual journey that led me straight into a psychotic break—and, surprisingly, back to God.
I’ll share much more of that story here over time.
It’s also the story behind the podcast I’m planning to launch this fall.
But one of the biggest questions that emerged from that experience was this:
Where is wisdom actually coming from?
Over the past few years, I’ve found myself living in a strange in-between space.
Too much of a Jesus freak for some people.
Too “woo woo” for others.
Too intuitive for some.
Too faith-based for others.
Depending on who I’m talking to, I’m either doing spirituality wrong or doing faith wrong.
And honestly, I understand why.
One of the biggest misconceptions in these conversations is the belief that we have to choose a side.
That if you love Jesus, you can’t trust your intuition.
If you pray, you can’t pull an oracle or tarot card.
If you have faith in God, you shouldn’t use tools like journaling, vision boards, astrology, meditation, crystals, or anything else that helps you connect more deeply with yourself and the divine.
For a long time, I thought the conversation was about the tools themselves.
But the deeper I’ve gone on my own journey, the more I’ve realized I was asking the wrong question.
The question isn’t:
Is the tool good or bad?
The question is:
Where is the wisdom actually coming from?
For over a decade, I worked professionally as a medium. I even had two seasons of my own television show called Monica the Medium.
I channeled messages.
I pulled cards.
I paid attention to signs (and still do).
I looked for meaning in synchronicities.
I trusted intuition deeply because, quite honestly, intuition had guided me through much of my life.
Then, in 2023, everything fell apart.
What began as a spiritual awakening eventually spiraled into a psychotic break.
A terrifying season that challenged almost everything I thought I knew about spirituality, intuition, reality, God, and myself.
I didn't arrive at these questions because someone told me what to believe.
I arrived at them because life forced me to.
And those questions changed everything.
Because a GPS doesn’t create the destination.
A map doesn’t create the territory.
A journal doesn’t create the insight.
An affirmation doesn’t create the truth.
And an oracle card doesn’t create wisdom.
They can all point toward something.
They can all create space for reflection.
They can all help us become aware.
But awareness is not the source.
The source is the Source.
For me, finding Jesus (outside the context of religion) has brought more peace, healing, clarity, and transformation into my life than anything else ever has.
Nothing else even comes close.
What’s interesting is that it didn’t make me less intuitive.
It didn’t make me less curious.
It didn’t make me less open.
It made me more discerning.
It didn’t make me stop asking questions.
It made me ask better ones.
It didn’t make me distrust my inner knowing.
It made me become more intentional about where that knowing was coming from.
The GPS analogy is a perfect example.
Imagine moving to a brand-new city.
At first, you use GPS for everything.
You rely on it because you don’t know the roads.
You don’t know the shortcuts.
You don’t know which routes get backed up during rush hour.
The GPS is incredibly helpful.
Necessary, even.
But after years of living there, something changes.
You begin to know the city for yourself.
Eventually, there are moments when the GPS tells you to go one way, but your own experience tells you there’s a faster route.
A better route.
A more aligned route.
So you trust your own knowing.
Not because the GPS is bad.
Not because it isn’t useful anymore.
But because you’ve developed a relationship with the territory itself.
Honestly, that’s how I view spiritual tools.
And not just oracle cards or tarot cards.
I’m talking about all of them.
Self-help books.
Podcasts.
Teachers.
Mentors.
Vision boards.
Journals.
Meditation.
Crystals.
Astrology.
Prayer practices.
Affirmations.
Even people like me who have spent years working as a medium, intuitive, coach, healer, or guide.
None of these things are meant to replace your discernment.
None of them are meant to become your authority.
They’re simply tools that can help point you in a direction.
I still notice signs.
I still smile when a synchronicity or angel number catches my attention.
I still find meaning in moments that feel beautifully timed.
The difference is that I no longer see those things as the source of truth.
A sign or tool can inspire reflection.
A sign or tool can spark awareness.
A sign or tool can remind me of something I was already feeling, questioning, or praying about.
But a sign or tool is not my authority.
I don’t believe the goal was ever to become dependent on the tool.
I believe the goal is to become so connected to God that you eventually trust the wisdom He placed within you above all else.
Not because you need less guidance.
But because you recognize where the guidance has been coming from all along.
P.S. If you’re new here, welcome.
You may know me as Monica the Medium, but these days I’m more interested in questions than answers.
This is where I’ll be sharing reflections on faith, intuition, healing, sobriety, motherhood, purpose, and what happened when my spiritual journey led me straight into a psychotic break—and ultimately back to God.
If you’d like to follow along, I’d love for you to subscribe.
I’m just getting started.